Anchor

City of Boston in the background of the photo

City of Boston in the background of the photo

Spectacle Island2

Bismillah.



I cannot tell you how relieving it is.  To be anchored

Rooted firmly in faith.

Just a few years ago I was a kite at the mercy of the wind of this world.

Every horrible disaster or humanitarian crisis or war would destroy my faith in this world.

That’s because my faith was in this world.

Not to say I had given up on humanity.

I have now anchored myself to that “rope that will never break”.

Faith.

When I walk through this life “as a stranger”.

Devoted to kindness, not because I want them to like me, but because I desire a heavier weight in my scale on the Day of Judgment.

Because I hope to be “shaded under His shade” when there is no other.

Because I pray to be among those “70,000 who will enter without reckoning”.

In the turmoil that exists in the world today…to such a degree that can break my heart…

I am grateful for the island of peace that is my Salah rug.  For my warm bed, my Habibi, my sweet little children, the food on my table and the roof over my head.  I am grateful for all the provision He has written for me and sent down with an angel to my mother’s womb when I was 4 months in-utero.

I pray for all the good that You have decreed for me to befall me, and all the evil that You have decreed to be erased, Ameen.

I pray that those suffering are given some relief in this life, even if it is just a warm piece of bread, a blanket and a smile.

I pray for that relief.

I pray that what You hold for them in their hereafter is so great, so amazing to behold…my humble words stumble at describing it…I pray that those suffering get to behold those things in the hereafter, that the human imagination has no comprehension of.  I pray you give those suffering the highest ranks of Jennah and that they will never remember a day of their suffering on this earth.  I pray this even though I know You have already promised this.  I know You’re the most merciful.

And I am so grateful to You for this anchor that You have given me, had I never found it I would still be drifting alone and miserable in this world.  With no compass to guide me and no island of peace to go to when the hurricane strikes.  My raft was weak, and I never would have survived had You not found me, then taken me to the shore.

Thank You.  I am Forever Grateful.  Alhumdulilah.


Written 3/19/15



Dedicated to all of the struggling Refugees all over the world.  May Allah aid and preserve them, Ameen.

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A dua (prayer).

O’ Magnificent creator of All.

All the miracles

Countless

All the blessings

That we always take for granted,

Or may never know…

 

Master of the unseen.

Composer of the heavenly universe.

Designer of the stars.

Artist of the flowers.

 

I cannot find words to even begin to capture Your Greatness.

Subhanallah.

I bear witness that You are the only one.

The true God.

Alone.

I swear by You who fashioned

“the setting places of the stars” . 87:75

You who has dominion to swear by Your creation.

I submit to You alone.

 

I seek Your forgiveness in any wrong I have ever done.

I fear Your wrath,

And I pray for Your reward

Paradise.

Jennah Ferdose.

I know few of us will make it but I pray that I am one.

 

I thank You so much.

I am eternally grateful in the most literal sense.

You gave me this light to traverse this darkness in.

All praise is due to You.

 

I pray when I get to that bridge with hooks and thorns

With the hell fire below,

I pray that my light will be bright in that darkness.

I pray that You have in that Page of mine,

On which the ink is dry…

I pray you have a good end.

 

If I am faced with calamity on this earth,

I sincerely pray You grant me

Patience and Strength.

Patience and the perseverance to bear whatever You have in store for me.

 

Ya Allah make our Ummah strong

Ya Allah make our Ummah wake up, make us love one another like we are supposed to.

Ya Allah make our Ummah as one body with no limbs that are suffering.

 

Thank You for everything.

 

You have literally given me everything.

Please help me to forgive and love others unconditionally

So I can receive that Love and Forgiveness from You.

Ameen Allahumah Ameen.

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I wrote this prayer before I ever thought I would have a blog.  It is from my personal journal.  As The Blessed Month of Ramadan approaches. I thought it pertinent to share.  Please join me in saying Ameen for our Ummah and Ameen for your own souls as well.

I love my brothers and sisters in Islam and I sincerely pray Allah grants us all great reward and benefit from our holy month of fasting.  May he make it easy and beneficial for us all.  Ameen.

 

 

 

 

Falling

Love is the sparks of excitement you swallow

Between each kiss.

Love lies in that empty space next to you

in bed, after they’ve gotten up.

The space you crawl into to keep their warmth

and how you secretly smell their pillow as a reminder.

Love is being vulnerable, even when your afraid.

Love Hides;

in between screaming, tears, and slamming doors.

Love is dancing without the need to hold on

for balance.

Love lies in the birth of a sunrise.

When the stars lingering in the clouds fade.

Morning Shines.

Painting sky in colors of dawn.

Ever growing brighter.

“Love is like falling and falling is like this…”**

Lost.

Yet at home, in the middle of the universe.

Butterflies surround your stomach.

Drifting

you feel more free than ever before.

Laughing flows out like rivers

and when your eyes connect

it is as if the other is

Soul Searching.

When I fall this time,

you don’t catch me.

Instead, you too allow yourself to fall in.

Love.


**Quoted from Ani Difranco song.

I wrote this poem on 10/04/01.  I was asked to write it from a good friend Hannah Smith to read at her wedding.

I love this poem but looking back I feel my life has changed so much that I was barely scraping the surface of Love.

This is because as humans we evolve constantly, particularly when we reflect on our lives.  I am a very reflective person and those who know me well know that my life has done at least a 180 degree turn since 2001.  All thanks be to God.  I laugh to myself because at the time of this writing I was still in awe of 9/11.  I remember vividly flying somewhere and checking out all of the other passengers on my flight fearing a terrorist was among us.  You see, I believed the hype.  I was afraid.  There were some men who looked like they were from India that I was skeptical of, then some darker skinned others that I thought may be Arabian.  I had no one to give my fear over to, as I do now.  I also had not broadened my horizons yet, growing up in one of the whitest states of the union had taken its toll on my view of diversity.  I did not yet know about my “knapsack of white privilege”.  I had just begun to study sociology and some of our articles blew my mind into a whole knew way of thinking.  More specifically I had not yet found religion and within it peace.  I had not yet met my husband and really found that true love that was destined for me.

I am so grateful for my personal evolution, revolution, awakening and revelation.  I am grateful for my family, my friends and everyone I have met on this path.  I am grateful for light and deen (religion) and I pray that my path may be forever illuminated by it.

Alhumdulilah, I am forever grateful.  🙂

From my heart.

LOVE you all.

Peace and Blessings (Assalamu Alakium).

204

My Opa.

Opa, you will always be the man with the perfectly manicured lawn, the weeping willows that blow in the wind.  Waving a top your big John Deer tractor; in shorts and white socks, that covered your farmers tan, right below your knees, on your skinny little chicken legs. 

You will always be the man so jolly with that glimmer of mischief in your eyes.  The teaser, the walk-behind-you-neck-pincher.  The man who built our whole lives with his hands: my dolly’s bassinet, my mom’s toilet bowl cover, all of our musical piggy banks with our names on them that were impossible to open.  Even that weird woodpecker toy thing with one of your chickens feathers as its tail.  The swing in your back yard, the garden that I learned to pick, shuck and love peas in.  The multiple clocks that would keep me up at night…it was either that or your monstrous snore.

One could look at your life as a child of the Holocaust, an immigrant, and now a victim of Alzheimer’s as one of tragedy, but I prefer to think of your life as the beginning of your legacy.  We may not always have the house you built but we will always have the family that you built.  Your hard work ethic, your craftsmanship, your mischievous spirit and even your laugh will be echoed in our generations and those to come…forever.

For my Opa:  Henry Najman Newman I love you forever. 

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Written for his memorial in August of 2010.